Film Micrœview #46: Heartbeats (2010)

01.16.2014 § Leave a comment

at least the Quebecois accents were amusing, and the subtitles had some weird substitutions running on them, like both "sw" and "rr" became "m" somehow...

at least the Quebecois accents were amusing, and the subtitles had some weird substitutions running on them, like both “sw” and “rr” became “m” somehow…

Rating: Evil.

Congratulations Justin Bieber, you’ve been inspired by WKW. Unfortunately your Monica Bellucci lookalike is utterly uncompelling, as is every directorial flourish of monochrome, unusual framing, interminable diegetic-sound-less slo-mo (not even saveable by the Knife!), and all of these lame characters and their problems. Might have helped if a friendship was actually established between the two friends before the start, or if the guy they obsess and conflict over had any characteristics beyond the physical, or if you didn’t have to resort to interjecting interviews with non-characters about random bullshit while randomly zooming in and out on them to carry the plot from place to place. I guess it takes a grown-up to realize that kid parties are not intrinsically interesting, because I was bored senseless. Dolan did everything: writing, directing, costumes, lead acting, editing — not surprising — but even more unfortunate that so many of the creative choices seemed incongruent with others or obviously unsuccessful in and of themselves.  I wish I could save all the young filmmakers from watching this and getting corrupted into thinking this is art rather than a telescoping of it. And I am canceling my viewing of all of his other movies. Standing ovation at Cannes? What the hell, man.

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