Dream 379: PJ Interruptus

11.17.2014 § Leave a comment

I’m at a dance party and have to pee, so I go to the DJ setup and start to pee into the absorbent felt mat as it spins. I’m being very careful not to dribble or splatter onto any sensitive electronic equipment which could be costly to the owner and detrimental to the party vibe. I do in fact inevitably spill a bit, but it’s not like enough to get through any perforations and short circuit any electronics or anything.

Suddenly Ubbe appears out of nowhere and grabs my penis as I continue to pee. I try to stop but as you know one can’t just do this instantly, so I pee quite a bit into his fist. He seems a bit peeved, and assuming that he’s mad about my tiny misses I’m apologizing profusely, but it turns out he has just been trying to get my attention because he needs to mix to the next track and I’m in his way. He doesn’t even really mind that he has a fistful of pee and penis — all he cares about is The Show Must Go On.

Now I’m a bit embarrassed that I didn’t notice him. I guess I assumed since it was so late that he had the thing on autopilot already. And now he made it through almost the entire night without getting peed on, and then right up at the end it happened. Sorry, Ubbe.

What time is it again? 9:30. I look out the attic window down the Midwest suburban neighborhood street. I have to go to my meeting soon.

I catch the last few minutes of the Metallica show on the vintage TV against one of the sloped walls. They’re all super old, and wearing suits and ties, plus bowties. Hetfield also has a snakeskin trenchcoat. Ulrich is missing the normal tie. They’re all doing that annoying clapping your hands above your head slowly in unison to the beat while no music plays and the crowd sings for them — probably the melisma from The Memory Remains.

At the resort. Karin’s taking a shower so I can’t use the bathroom. I race down to the lobby, buck naked, carrying only my cell phone. I believe the rules were that we were allowed to be naked in public, since we’re on a manmade floating island in the middle of the ocean — no puritanical prescriptions apply. I am validated by the fact that adult actor John is standing there at the bar naked. However, the bartender shouts at me “Naked! Ah! On your way to a massage then?!” at which point I begin to second guess myself — was the only good reason for being naked in public here being on the way to a massage? Shit! Well, whatever, I duck into the public baths.

Unfortunately every stall seems taken. There is a door that seems to lead to another home-style bathroom, so I take it. I flick the light switch on and start to pee. However, as I’m peeing, I notice that the huge L-shaped shower in here is packed with people! And they’re all naked too! It looks like a family who are in hiding. I have no agenda here, I’m perfectly happy to keep letting them hide from whoever they’re hiding from. I don’t think there’s anything negative consequences at stake for me passively aiding them — certainly I can play dumb (to a T). And while I don’t want to do anything that would call attention to them, I also hate to injure their dignity by peeing right in front of them, so I cut off my stream and fumble out. Before I go I confusedly whisper a question, whether to leave the light on or off, because I can’t remember how I found them (was the light on and I just didn’t notice them until the rewarding endorphins of ending holding it began to flow and I relaxed and started taking in my surroundings, or had I even flipped it at all?). No one responds, even if they speak English, and I don’t want to raise my voice any further so I scoot.

I race back to the massive industrial style blue wrought iron mesh elevator in the center of the island to head back up to Karin and I’s room. In the elevator with me is some massive construction equipment and two massive blue-collared construction worker men. I realize that I’m not naked anymore — I’ve got tighty-whiteys on — AND I don’t have my phone anymore! I must have only been thinking “I have one thing on my person” and have absent-mindedly satisfied that number by putting on some random pair of someone else’s underwear, probably from that room where that poor family was hiding out, probably one of their pairs I’ve stolen accidentally, ugh. Plus I’ve got to go back down in there and retrieve my phone! But I’ve got to go so bad that I better just run back up to the room and hope Karin is done with her shower first.

Unfortunately, the men in this elevator are laughing, mocking me, making me uncomfortable. So I exit on floor 3 rather than 4 where our room is. This island is like a giant parking garage, with massive slightly sloped floors. The elevators are along a line in the middle of the island, perpendicular to the sloping. So now if I want to get to the 4th floor I have to run all the way to one end of the island up the slope and then back but up the next slope rather than back down. And the scale is like running a city block twice then.

I pass five annoying ugly girls from high school, Satine included. I know what they’re going to ask me so I tell them YES I am getting tickets to the Katy Perry show and I’m trying to get Karin to come too! They cheer back YAYAYAY! At this point I also have an Austin Powers style blue blazer on and am holding a bunched up sock in my right hand instead of my phone. I’m also skipping flamboyantly and seem to have achieved semi-anti-gravity.


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