09.14.2018 § Leave a comment
I’ve built a font (using Calligraphr to fiddle with characters from Roboto Slab) where every character is created by rotating, mirroring, or translating either another character or itself. I named it Autobet (a cross between ‘alphabet’ and ‘Autobots’, one of the groups of Transformers, because the font is created by transforming letters of the alphabet… nyuk nyuk).
Download your preferred font file format here:
This only includes the uppercase and lowercase Latin alphabet, Arabic numerals, and a few punctuation marks; it is not a complete font. Also, I couldn’t find effective transformations for F, T, R, and K, so I had to get a bit creative with those. Feel free to play around with it though.
09.09.2018 § 2 Comments
welcome to mumbo kidney misery
welcome to the muñeca and misery
I nicely crawl on my breasts, nurse in a mitten
besides that, I’m curious.
horn in a half-hearted mouth, ramble in a mite
held as she sleeps and sleeps
all night roundabouts
I am going to replace it
afterwards peeling off
and squirting morning snowboarding
at the same time
standing on foot
satellite morning harvest
pleasantly and conveniently
to grab it, to grasp it
to grab it and to grab it
to grab it and to grab it
take hold of it
grab it and others
and when to grab
gotten from you
from the outside
on the other hand
sandwiched by vegetables
soy sauce sipping hands
sorry, this, sir
sorry for late confinement
I do not have a mental arthritis
I do not have a mumbo
bring it to the shop
sorry about that
* What’s funnier than Google-translated Japanese?
Google-translated yomikata — purely phonetic readings of Japanese — i.e. strings of hiragana without any kanji to help to mark word boundaries and differentiate between words with the same pronunciation (of which in Japanese in particular there are many). Google Translate was surely not designed to cope with missing this critical semantic and morphological information.
This is a poem I cobbled together out of such nuggets of ridiculousness on a website for traditional family crests. I had searched for those containing the Japanese word for “outside” (hence the title). I have barely begun to experiment in this medium; in fact, I haven’t even checked out the results for a single other query yet (read: it might get way better than this).
04.15.2017 § Leave a comment
I’ve been in Japan for almost three months and just realized that two amusing things I’ve encountered follow a pattern: they are puns on words which have been converted into katakana, and are only possible after conversion into katakana.
Information is lost when converting to katakana. The distinction between many vowels is lost, as there are only five vowel sounds in Japanese (something like 20 in English). The distinction between r and l is lost; both become the Japanese consonant r which is somewhere between r and l. The distinction between syllable terminal m and n is lost; both become the Japanese consonant n which ends up sounding like an n or an m depending on the voicing of the consonant beginning the next syllable.
Consider two words which in their native language would not be similarly enough pronounced to make puns out of. Once converted into katakana, their pronunciations are simplified and converge such that they are similar enough to make puns out of. Thus they are un-de-katakan-ifi-able puns.
Here’s the examples I’ve found so far.
Sherlock Holmes + rock n’ roll = Sherlock n’ Roll!
pain (French for bread, pronounced pɛ̃) + lampshade = pampshade
smooth + zoo = smoozoo
01.23.2016 § Leave a comment
a type of poem which follows the form of an anagram but instead of each line starting with the letter of the vertical word, a word which doesn’t start with that letter is chosen and it is misspelled to start with that letter (which may or may not also be a word, or you can just add or delete letters, as long as the word you intend is recognizable, if only from context)
04.27.2015 § Leave a comment
- Albert Randal Bertrand
- Ahabernathan Abragrahamilton
- Alvincent Calvincent Kevincent Marvincent Millivincent
- Harvis Marvey Jarvin
- Jasperry Walterry Lesterry Peterry Reubenjaminsteresa
- Landonaldous Brandonaldous Byronaldous Rogeraldous Archibaldous
- Irwinfrederick Winnifreda Patrichard Cedricardoyle Ericardoris Borishmaelois
- Beatrisharold Alisharondonna
- Zacharold Isaacarrie Z’chloey
- Estobartholomew Wilbertholomew
- Alexandrew Elmirandrew
- Antom Christophil Joseth
- Oscarson Connorson Cormbinc
- Gordonny Aaronny
- Kirk Kurt Kirby
- Klyle Elyle Lurlyle
- Camillifred Camildredna
- Justin Jason Jay Stan
- Amya Romyles
- Gregarett Roregisergerry
- Colleendsey Eileendzeke
- Bethanigel Annethaniles Leomarjordaniel
- Stephaninancy Stephraim Ezrandy
- Veronicolelifford Dominicholas Simonichols
- Karen Erin Ren
- Haydennis Cadenny
- Gwendellindsay Owendalonzo
- Maddison Alysonya
- Kimberlyndsey Alberford
- Sarachelen Shelbevshirley
- Douglance Halan
- Celester Leslibby
- Natashawayne Shaunnon
- Jodie Judie Julie Jolie
- Taylorraine Tyleen
- Carleen Carlizabeth
- Heatherbert Norburton
- Treymond Treycy Trevirma Trevis Travor
- Breese Bruth Bluke Blaiken
- Ernold Barnest Arney Bernor Vernard (Fern) (Ernard)
- Samandamon Romanueleanor
- Pameron Pameliam
- Midgeoffrida Verald Humphritzgeraldinah
- Dustan Danley
- Tobitha Tobiastridley Phinneaster
- Jebediana Claudiana
- Kimelinda Jezebella Mabelinda
- Stephenie Stevelyn
- Maximilliam Maxwilliam Maxingrid
- Jackeith Olivickieran Victorrance
- Krirsten Kriley
- Lucasey Lucilia
- Jonald Donas Jonathaniel
- Georff Greorgeory
- Ivanessa Igordon
08.29.2014 § Leave a comment
- an object whose inherent nature is irrelevant, and which
- functions as a place-holding constant driving goal of the plot.
However, as a Chekhov’s thing, it must both:
- eventually have the effect of its inherent nature executed on, and
- besides the two moments of first its initial mentioning and then its ultimate use, be otherwise left unaddressed.
So on both aspect 1 and aspect 2, MacGuffins and Chekhov’s things are exactly opposites.
Also, I just like how it sounds, since “MacGuffin” has the same phonetic ‘guh’ sound as “gun”. Plus the juxtaposition of Chekhov being such a Russian name and MacGuffin being such a Scottish name is amusing, too.
05.06.2014 § Leave a comment
In layman’s terms, take the “shm” sound from “consequences, shmonsequences” then add on the word “leg.” Then repeat the “shm” and add the first syllable of “linear”. One could write the word “Shmlegshmlin” for a more intuitive pronunciation, and indeed I used to spell it that way before I developed the General American English phonemic transcription which I use for sound poetry today.
So, no, it’s not kuh-muh-low-igg-kuh-muh-loo-inn. It’s just two syllables. Sounds like a diminutive demon.
Bonus question: what does Cmloegcmluin mean? I don’t quite know yet.