04.17.2020 § Leave a comment
I’ve started work at Asana, so I have to fly every day from Chicago to Detroit and back.
The office is a castle which seems specifically designed to prevent anyone from getting any work done other than networking.
Elmo is the groundskeeper.
04.10.2020 § Leave a comment
I am showing off to a couple of gentlemen the high caliber of dumb attractive woman I have available in my harem. This one is a masturbation sleeve shaped like a penis which is larger than mine.
04.04.2020 § Leave a comment
I accept a thank you mistakenly; it was meant for Karin. I try to thank her too by adding another layer across into the mountain range which is on the right side of our winding path across sloped upwards green, but I end up flattening a section (at least not deleting) so I undo and to cover it up I ask Odie if he ever played this other game and he’s like “ohhhhh yes” and he’s already installed the plugin that lets you make the mountains in the style of that game which here look all retro and blocky like Legos.
And then I’m drifting around and it has really awesome camera mechanics with respect to sudden changes in altitude such as coming off the top of a building. We’ve built one that’s like a towering series of panopticons but it’s a hotel and it’s empty and holy shit someone did a ton of detail before they copy-pasted in a cylinder hundreds of times. But the hotel is completely empty even though I thought we were scrambling to expand this city’s capacity. It’s like No Man’s Sky crossed with Populus crossed with WoW and Minecraft, and I see a beautiful hexagonal display on top and I add two scuzzy bush trees from the Evil Land palette yet they actually look fine out of context.
04.02.2020 § Leave a comment
If you are a Key and Peele fan, this film will not disappoint. It was directed by the same guy who directs the episodes of the sketch show. It’s a far cry from the craftsmanship and artistry we see in Peele’s own direction; this feels more like a bunch of sketches slapped together. It’s barely about the kitten. It’s sloppy and tedious and awkward. But pretty funny.
03.28.2020 § Leave a comment
VMware HTML5 vSphere is the monster from Stranger Things, hunting me ceaselessly, tearing holes in and out of my reality by surprise.
Calvin seems pretty sure that taking MDMA is what will help but he is being awkwardly half-concealing about it while at his office. I’m not sure how I can respond to his statements without making it obvious. It puts me in a really tough position. We end up going to the public restroom for privacy, attempting the exchange inconspicuously in the handicapped stall together. But he drops the crumbly pink wafer pf MDMA and it spills outside the door boundaries so I have to open the stall door and go out and get it amongst the other people in there. They all know he does this, so why can’t he just not be weird about it?
03.23.2020 § Leave a comment
Two titularly “naked” 60’s B&W films in a row!
What elevates this film from a shrug to a good for me is its use of expression-exchanges, several of them at pivotal moments of the story:
- Kelly meeting Grant (with Griff on the side)
- Kelly kissing Grant for the first time
- Molested girl giving Grant a hug
- Buff’s visit to the jailhouse
In particular I enjoyed how they weren’t typically fully explained at the time. So not only were we the audience occasionally in on more information than was being communicated in words (which some other characters were missing out on), but occasionally we were in on less information than the characters knew the exchanges meant.
It’s funny because as these scenes came up, for the most part I laughed, finding them quite silly. But once the film had wrapped up I realized they were actually the most dramatically interesting elements!
One thing I could do without is Griff explaining to Kelly how to work with kids at the end. It just didn’t make any sense. Why is doofus cop here suddenly expert while Mary Poppins over here is so distraught she can’t even do what she does for her living? I mean, in general I liked how Griff’s character was not just frustratingly petty; he was just doing his job, and occasionally struggled with his own personal feelings but never let them get the better of him in a cartoonish way.
03.21.2020 § Leave a comment
At the beach. Twilight. Beautiful cloud formations, visible all the way to the horizon in great detail. A private jet lands on the hotel runway. A cavalcade of Playboy bunnies bumble out, followed by none other than Jack Nicholson. The hotel owner takes this opportunity to introduce me. Not every day that a guy like me gets such a chance! The first thing I do, unfortunately, is step on Jack’s toe. He doesn’t mind so much though, really jovial guy. I tell him the story about the first time my dad met him and how my dad also stepped on his toe. We’ve got our arms around each other’s backs and I give him a little back rub.
A man is holding a crooked shallow wooden box up sideways. Metal bar grating. A squirrel with very little room to maneuver, thrashing around inside, baring its teeth.